Almost Cool
by Capn Nat
Summary: Scratchmen Apoo was almost cool. He had his chance and then lost it. Afterward he's a little distraught, but gladly relates his story to any willing to hear his story out. He never lets a good audience go without a show. One shot.


**Scratchmen Apoo lost his chance at that cool moment where he could have been the victor versus an Admiral of all people. Alittle upset, he gladly shares his short spot in the lime light with whoevers listening, and a dindgy bar's as good an auditorium as any.**

**Alright, I've noticed that Apoo doesn't get much love. I personally like him best out of the Supernovas(besides Luffy and Zoro)...but alas, there are not many...so spread the Apoo love! 3 This story is in hopes you'll notice his little charms too.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or Apoo, but that grungy hobo guy...hes all mine!**

"What an exhausting week…" was all the man could think. It was a quiet night inside a dirty bar, filled with roaches crawling along the cracks in the walls and criminal types that might as well have been doing the same.

As odd looking as the long armed man was, he at least fit in a slight bit in the rough environment. Sulking, his face was pressed into the sticky counter and his arms hung down along his sides. As lengthy as they were his second elbows touched the ground and the rest of his arm laid along it, leaving dusty trails on his pinkish-red sleeves.

Just a few days earlier his disposition was much brighter. Reaching the Archipelago was a feet in itself, but he also had the privilege to meet the other supernovas, and thus his chance to prove himself someone worth something.

"Sigh…" but no, instead he refused to lift his head in utter dismay. "It was my chance," he continued to whoever was listening. Probably a crewmate or a passerby, or maybe no one at all, just venting to himself, he didn't particularly care, "In front the Strawhats, that Basil guy, even in front of that jerk who picked a fight with me in the bar, I just had to make a butt crack out of myself."

Finally raising his head, he swiftly slammed his fists on the counter, shocking a grungy hobo from his sleep who just whipped his arms around till he gained consciousness. "And I was looking so cool at first! I was a TOTAL hero!"

He pounded his chest sending a drum beat rhythmically through the air, "There I was, running on my way when I caught sight of him! The most bizarre looking man you could imagine!"

"More then you?" the hobo chimed in, amused by this yung'uns hysterics.

"You bet'cha! He wore some kind of striped suit with white trimmings I think, and had an obnoxious face that was like 'Dhooooh' all the time. Most of all, the guy was an Admiral!" his arms flung skyward to emphasize the power of that word.

The hobo nodded in approval as a few of his crewmates sat in closer to hear the story through, as bummed out as their Captain Scratchmen Apoo had been, none really knew the whole story except the few who had seen it.

"There I was left with a choice, run away while he wasn't looking, or stay and fight in a ferocious battle!" his tone grew dramatic and excited getting enthralled in his own story and his audience was growing slowly, enjoying his display, "Well, of course I would stay! Why miss my chance, especially when my fellow Supernovas were in trouble? Apapapapa! Hey, you were there," he noted pointing at one of his crew, "You remember what I said?"

The captain stared hopefully at his crewman who reddened under the stare in growing embarrassment and excitement, "Yeah!" he exploded shyly, "you said, "We can't just run away, we have to anger him before we go'!" The small crowd started to laugh at the thought of it, and at how "the Roar of the Sea" danced and started to press the keys in his mouth for the audience.

The music filled the room as he readied for the next part of the story, "So, you see there the freak was using some weird light attack, buzoom, bazoom!" He shot a hand in the air in reaction to his supposed sounds of light, "That Basil Hawkins guy was no match with his scarecrow ability, despite turning into straw and growing way tall!" His hands now reached way up towards the ceiling, the group all looked up in amazement.

"Not only that!" they all shot back to attention as he continued, "there was X. Drake! A former marine gone pirate said to have a Legendary Fruit!" The crowd began to murmur at this, most of them had never heard of such a thing.

Now, Apoo could be a patient man, but at the height of his story he couldn't be bothered with it, so slapping the top of his head down, the loud clash noise grabbed everyone's attention again, "Hey everyone, the best parts coming! Apapapapa, well both of them useless in this circumstance! I know, I watched from the rooftops…all was nil, the end near for them…" the softening tone of his voice caused them all to quiet more and listen closely.

They were all tense, even those who had seen it couldn't help but be captivated by the lively way their captain told it. The quiet in the room was only disturbed when the crewman who had spoken earlier blurted out, "Then you…"

A swift hand blocked his mouth, "Now, don't take away my moment!" The long armed man wasn't angry but rather anxious to continue himself. The crewman only looked down for having almost stolen the captain's thunder.

All piano teeth bearing in a broad smile, Apoo began again, "but you could already guess, what happened next! Kizaru slowly began his decent, an animal out for the hunt! Closing in on Hawkins, slowly, slowly…" he krepted on his tiptoes towards the hobo, who despite himself started to cower a small bit, "so close he was to eradicating the magician, when!"

In one large leap he lifted himself atop the counter, placing his second elbows against his hips, the dust that bellowed only added to the effect, "I jump forward! A hero, a savior! I didn't care how strong he was, I never miss a chance at a good audience and who knows, those supernovas could be a good ally or foe in the future!"

The crowd grew even bigger by this point everyone in the bar had decided to join in the cheer. Scratchmen then plopped down sitting at the edge of the counter, "You see," he stated calmly, thoughtfully holding his chin up with a folded hand, "This was my chance to be the cool guy, the awesome "Roar of the Sea" I am!"

"Being my tribe has been seen as brutes, I wanted to make something better of myself," he figured relating a little of his past would help them sympathize with him, "with these unusually long arms," waving the said limbs, "and musically based features most people don't really see my potential, I just always wanted them to see me for who I am! They already know me for my 198,000,000 bounty, but this was my chance to really show my stuff."

They all nodded harmoniously at the prospect, and all felt for his situation. "Yes- yes, it was my time, my 15 minutes if you will, so I ripped out my rhymes and began with a bang!" He echoed out drum like noises from his chest, "The mood was right the beat was out, all heads were on me and my funky sound!" Pulling back his sleeve he began to play on his elbow the same melodic sound he had given at the fight.

The crowd grew to an uproar as he played his music, playing the key like teeth in his mouth and related his song to all listening. Quieting when he started to speak again, "Oh, they were all mesmerized by it, enchanted in fact! The Admiral's 'Dohhh' face staring right at me, but was I scared of the brute?"

"Of course not!" the group bellowed in unison.

"Right, I kept playing then, I had my chance! I led into it…" his music started to play as if to a common stop, and with a slam on the head a loud 'CLASH' summoned them all out of their seats.

"Boom!" Apoo called out, "The loud vibrations of sound exploded around his midsection! He never saw it coming and just like that, Boom, he was exploded in two! Fallen the great Admiral was!" He expressively threw himself back up on the counter standing over his audience.

"That was it, one hit wonder, I had won, and like a Superhero I was going to leave victoriously with out even a thank you from the others! But not without a final cool fraise! What did I say?"

"CHECK IT OUT!" his crewmen loving the adrenaline of it all spoke out in chorus, the rest of the men in the bar joining out in the repeating calls. At this point even the bartender, a solemn and angry fellow laughed and called along.

Scratchmen raised his arms causing the voices to lower and all to listen, "Like a hero I strolled out of there, jumping building tops in a leap or two! For that moment I was cool, I was the "Roar of the Sea" Scratchmen Apoo!" Another consecutive yell in cheer filled the room.

"But," they all quieted at how his tone changed so quickly, "it didn't last, no. How was I to know that man would survive, huh? How was I to know he'd repair himself?" There was no possible way! So, as I strolled merrily… he came at me!" A gasp rose from the onlookers. Murmurs of how could he have survived and that's not fair filled the air.

"As fast as light, he came!" Apoo swished his hand threw the air like a ship, "he is light you realize, so at light speed he kicked me, hard…." He looked down dramatically the crowd silent, "smash into the buildings, a hole of wreckage, the loss of cool. Just like that I was out and my moment was ripped away from me by the very man I had fallen to gain it."

They all booed at Kizaru for having caused such a thing to their dear captain and friend. This same man just sat back down, displaying that this was the end of his story caused all the men to cheer his name. He was an entertainer whether in the end he was victor or not. Even when it's at his own expense he couldn't help but perform for an audience, and this one was quite satisfied with the preformance.

Now if only he hadn't lamented on the end and reverted to his depressed state. How in the world are they going to get to the New World if their captain wouldn't just get moving again?

His face in the sticky table and his arms dirtied from the dusty ground again, "Roar of the Sea" Scratchmen Apoo merely sighed. A grungy hobo patting his back to comfort him.

**Poor thing, hope I've opened some eyes! 3**


End file.
